Eternal Peace

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For the People on Board Flight MH370
Like many of you, I read the news today about the tragedy of flight MH370. My heart aches so, for their families and friends, and I needed to express myself in poem form regarding their departed loved ones.

 

 

Oh gentle souls, be not afraid of the darkness which has come to envelope you.

Your lives have enriched many of whom you’ve touched.

The love you have shared shall live on, and the good you have done shall be interred within your bones.

Join now with the Light, feel the peace of His hand, and be forever be one within His heart.

May God Bless and keep you in his love forever.

Amen.

Regrets, Should We Just Move On or Keep Them in Our Heads

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I just finished reading a blog  about regrets . The message given is that we should forget our regrets, and just move on with our lives. The thinking is that since we cannot change our past, we should just learn from our mistakes and move on.

While this is a clever word play for wall plaques, it’s not always that simple. When we do something that we know is wrong, and has the possibility of hurting others, we should keep this error of our ways in the forefront of our memories.

I believe if we associate guilt, remorse, or even pain with these memories, we will be more inclined to react differently in future actions. I think we accomplish nothing by forgetting these past transgressions and moving on. It is the feeling associated within us as Human Beings to remember these past events and act in a more responsible way in the future.

Case in point, I recently wrote a blog which I thought was not sexually offensive, but more of an educational nature. Now, because of that, I did not mark it as an adult setting. I should have. I wasn’t thinking about under age adults, or other folks reading this that may have been offended, or made to feel uncomfortable.

By just forgetting about this mistake, what have I learned, nothing, unless I correct it. Luckily, I felt remorse about this and as such, I will associate that remorse the next time I write something of that nature. I believe that in order to truly learn by your mistakes, you must make this association.

This of course is just my opinion. I would be glad to know how you weigh in on this. Let me know.

Does Size Really Matter

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Before I start, let me just say that honestly, it’s not the size of the penis, it’s the technique that is used. I know I’m going to get a lot of flak on this one but it’s true, size doesn’t matter.

I can hear some women out there now saying, “Jen, you crazy bitch, the bigger the better.” To that I would say, “It’s painful if it’s bigger than 7 inches.” Again, I hear the rumblings, but if you think about it, who wants to have a dip stick being rammed up to your belly button?

Guy’s, I can see you in the background looking down at the dip sticks and thinking, phewwwww.  Here’s the thing, the important part is that X marks the spot. In this case of course I am talking about our beloved G spot. Did I lose anybody, good?

Usually a 5-7 inch little bugger is just fine in finding our little bit of heaven if you are in the correct sexual position. What is the correct sexual position then you might ask? Well, there are several schools of thought on that one.

Everyone of course is different and will experience different feelings based on their own bodies. In my experience, even if your partner has one of those needle dicks, the best ways are as follows:

  1. 1.      Woman laying on top with your legs between his, all the while grinding your lady bits into his pelvic area. This will help with both clitoral and G spot arousal.

 

  1. 2.      While bending over on your knees, let him enter you from behind. Many times, this seems to give maximum stimulation.

 

  1. 3.      A third way is to have him lie on the bed, or, table, or, desk, and you get on top of him and just ridem cowgirl. Yeeee Haaaa! Again, this will let you stimulate your own desires by moving yourself around his joy stick.

 

So guys, relax, it doesn’t matter that you’re not built like a stallion. Just find a way that is most comfortable and pleasurable for both of you and rock each other all night long. So long.

 

 

Come Hither My Bleeding Heart

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Come hither my bleeding heart,

Let me sooth your wounds with words of love.

Forget the crushing hurt that has befallen you,

And allow these gentle words to heal your soul.

 

Neither man nor woman can repair your ravaged faith,

Only loves touch, may once again strengthen your bold resolve.

Reach for that strength,

And forever, shall you once again be whole.

 

 

 

 

 

Quiz For Smart People

 

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There are only nine questions.
This is a quiz for people who know everything!
I found out in a hurry that I didn’t. These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers.. 

 

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

 

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

 

3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

 

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

 

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

 

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ‘ dw’ and they are all common words. Name two of them.

 

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

 

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

 

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter ‘S.’

 

Answers To Quiz:

 

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends:Boxing.

 

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.

 

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.

 

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside:Strawberry.

 

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems. 

 

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle…

 

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. 

 

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.

 

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with ‘S’: Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts. 

 

PLEASE DO YOUR PART; Today is National Mental Health Day.
You can do your part by remembering to
send this  to at least one genius challenged person.

Okay, my job’s done!

 

Don’t send it back to me. I’ve already flunked it once

 
 
 
 
   
 

Pole Dancing

First Grade Drawing – PRICELESS!
 

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for her homework assignment. 
 

 
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The teacher graded it and the child took it home. She returned to school the next day with the following note: 

Dear Ms. Davis, 

I want to be perfectly clear on my child’s homework illustration. 
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money. 
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. 
This drawing is of me selling a shovel. 

Sincerely, 

Mrs. Harrington

 

If You Could Spend One Day with Some One You Admire, Who Would It Be?

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I remember this topic from one of my English classes in high school. Back then, being into pop stars, I chose Cher. It’s interesting how your perspective of things change as you grow older isn’t it.

Today, if I was asked, I would say my grandpa. I know, there are so many great statesman and wonderful human beings, but, my grandfather taught me what love is really all about. He grew up on the East side of Boston in  crime filled area known as Roxbury.

His mother was a seamstress and his father worked for the mill. They were poor but still managed to feed their six children. My grandfather would say that every day there was some kind of a gang fight going on in the neighborhood. There, you grew up either tough, or dead.

My grandpa grew up as a tough kid in order to survive, and according to him; he was in many scuffles and skirmishes. He got arrested once when he was sixteen for busting a beer bottle over someone’s head during a bar fight. He was promptly arrested by Boston’s finest, and taken to a holding cell for processing.

Here is where the story really begins, he swears while he was in lockup, a voice came to him in his sleep that said, “Lay down your hate and Follow Me.” Those seven words, whether he dreamt them or not, changed his life forever.

He became a changed man.  Never really being very religious before, he now started going to church as often as he could, and he became a kind and more gentle man. He would help with community projects, feed the poor in the shelters around the neighborhood, and always offer his assistance to others whenever he could.

He would tell me these stories when I would visit him, and the love that exuded from this man would just pass right through me to my soul. I miss my grandpa, I wish he was still here, and yet, the love that he imparted to me has made me a stronger and more loving person. Thank you for making me the person I am today. I love you Gpa.